How to Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

Breakups aren't easy, but they don't always mean your relationship is over for good! Many clear signs can suggest your ex is still interested if you're wondering whether they’ll ever rekindle your romance. Read on and learn about all the signals that your ex will eventually come back, from posts on social media to the promising things they’ll say to you directly.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• An ex will likely come back if they’re in a rebound relationship, if the breakup was an impulsive decision, or if the breakup was mutual.
• Your ex might return if they unblock your number and keep an eye on you with social media. They may also try to contact you again.
• Once you’re talking again, your ex might reminisce about the past, compliment you, ask to meet in person, or apologize for their mistakes.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]They leave your number unblocked.

1. If they unblock your number, they're not ready to cut contact for good. Generally, the best way to move on from an ex is to cut all contact, even blocking them or deleting their number.^[1] Therefore, if your ex isn't doing that, they might not want to move on. Even if they're not ready to get back together immediately, they're leaving the door open for future contact.
   
   • You can check to see if you've been blocked by calling or texting your ex. When someone blocks a number, neither type of communication can get through to their phone.
   • Try sending a simple, polite text first. It'll say "Delivered" or "Read" below the message if you're not blocked. If you are, there will just be a blank space below the text.

[Edit]They're sad weeks after the breakup.

1. Your ex isn't getting over you if they mope for a long time post-breakup. Look for signs that they're still sad, particularly about the breakup. Look at your ex's social media posts, or check and see if they look sorrowful when you run into them in person. If you're in contact with any of their friends, you could even ask them how your ex has been.^[2]
   
   • If your ex isn't doing well with the breakup, a friend might say they're just "okay," or "doing fine" rather than saying they're doing great.
   • On social media, any gloomy posts about your ex feeling lonely could be a subtle signal that they're not over you.

[Edit]They're active on your social media.

1. Stalking your socials or posting about you means you're on their mind. Social media makes it easy to stay connected without being too obvious. Look through your recent posts to see if they've liked or commented on any of them, and check any Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat stories to see if your ex viewed them. The more they engage with your social media, the more they think about you.^[3]
   
   • Your ex might even send you DMs on social media. A private message is a sure sign that you're on their mind, even if it's just a funny video they thought you might like.

[Edit]They haven't returned your things.

1. They might not return your things if they're not ready to say goodbye. It's easier to move on when there are no reminders of an ex hanging around. Do you find that your ex avoids making arrangements to drop off your stuff or makes last-minute excuses to call off the exchange? They might be hanging onto those reminders of you (and the relationship) if they haven't returned the things you left behind.^[4]
   
   • Your ex might also leave up old photos and videos of you on their social media. Purging a social media account of an ex is like getting rid of old stuff, so if your ex is keeping those photos, they're still thinking of you.

[Edit]They keep in touch with your friends and family.

1. Contacting your social circle is a subtle way to keep tabs on you. Ask any friends that know your ex whether they've been asking about you lately. See if your family has heard from your ex at all, too. If your ex wants to come back to you (either consciously or subconsciously), they'll often ask your friends how you're doing or say hi to your family regularly.^[5]
   
   • If you have mutual friends, it might be hard to tell whether your ex is hanging out with them just for fun or because of you. Check with friends that only know your ex through you, if possible.
   • If your ex's friends and family (particularly their parents) still occasionally reach out to you for a friendly check-in, that's also a positive sign that your ex isn't over you.

[Edit]They initiate contact regularly.

1. Contacting you is a sign they want you back in their life. It's normal to call an ex once or twice if you want closure, but regular calls or texts mean your ex might be looking for something more. Take note if your ex frequently checks in with you or texts whenever something reminds them of you. Regular communication means they're still interested and thinking of you often.^[6]
   
   • An ex who wants you back is likelier to open up to you. Do they confide in you or ask your advice? That could mean you're not just a friend in their eyes—you're someone they really care about!
   • If they miss you, your ex will respond promptly (and enthusiastically) when you reach out to them.
   • Test the waters after they contact you; send a quick "How are you?" text and see how quickly they respond.

[Edit]They reminisce about the past.

1. Nostalgia means they still care about the relationship and miss it greatly. Does your ex mention happy memories from the relationship or send old pictures of you together? Do they remember important dates, like your birthday or your old relationship anniversary? If your ex looks back on the relationship with fondness, they still remember and cherish what you had together.^[7]
   
   • For example, your ex might text you out of the blue with a photo of you two and write, "This just popped up in my Facebook memories! Wasn't it such a fun day? 😊"
   • Your ex might even come right out and tell you that they miss you (and the relationship) plainly.^[8] If they do, it's a surefire sign they want to mend the relationship.

[Edit]They keep "coincidentally" running into you.

1. An ex who wants to see you might keep going to places you frequent. Think about the last few times you saw your ex. Do they always appear at the same events and places you visit? If so, your ex might be doing it deliberately so they can see you again. If your ex is alone and tries to talk with you each time, they're definitely interested in reconnecting.^[9]
   
   • For example, if your ex starts appearing at the coffee shop you visit on your lunch break most days, they might be doing it because they remember your schedule and are going out of their way to see you.

[Edit]They ask to spend time with you in person.

1. Seeking quality time with you might mean they want to get back together. Does your ex still ask to hang out or do fun activities together? Do they try to stay close to you and come up with excuses to visit? If your ex is making a conscious effort to spend plenty of quality time with you, they're trying to tell you they still care.^[10] They likely think about you often and miss you quite a bit.
   
   • Working up to spending time together post-breakup can take time, and that's a good thing!
   • If your ex didn't talk to you immediately after the breakup and has gradually gotten closer, it means they've taken time to process the breakup and honestly want to repair the relationship.

[Edit]They say nice things about you.

1. Compliments are a sign that they think of you in a positive light. Breakups can sometimes lead to resentment, so a friendly, complimentary ex is a great sign! Suppose they offer compliments or congratulate you for an achievement (particularly over something that has changed or improved). In that case, it means they like what they see—and could even be second-guessing the breakup.^[11]
   
   • For example, your ex might say, "I can really tell how much you've changed since we dated."
   • They might point out something new to compliment you. "That haircut looks amazing! I've never seen it like that before, but I love it," or, "Wow, you've gotten promoted since I last saw you? You're so talented."

[Edit]They apologize for their mistakes.

1. Apologies show they've reflected on the breakup and want to fix things. Has your ex apologized for something they did that may have led to the breakup? Relationships succeed when couples take time to identify issues and talk constructively and honestly. If your ex wants to do that and takes responsibility for past shortcomings, they're serious about getting back together.^[12]
   
   • A genuine apology is more than saying "I'm sorry." Your ex should recognize what happened, why it was hurtful, how it made you feel, and how they plan to fix the problem.

[Edit]They've broken up with you before.

1. If your relationship is on-again, off-again, odds are they'll be back. Look for signs that your ex is a player or inconsistent with their relationships. How many times have you broken up and gotten back together? Do they have a long string of exes or second-guess the relationship often? In a relationship where you continually break up and get back together, your ex will likely come back to you soon.^[13]
   
   • If your ex repeatedly second-guesses the breakup and lets you know they have regrets, that's a strong signal that they want you back too.
   • However, you might consider whether such a turbulent relationship is what you really want. If your ex is open to addressing past issues and going steady, go for it! If not, it might be time to find a healthier relationship.

[Edit]They’re in a rebound relationship.

1. Rebound relationships actually mean they're not over you yet. A rebound involves a newly single person who wants to distract themselves from the pain of the breakup. If your ex starts dating unusually soon—for example, 1 or 2 weeks after the breakup—don't despair! Genuinely moving on takes time, so if your ex jumps right into a new relationship after the breakup, it's probably a rebound.^[14]
   
   • Rebound relationships tend to be short because the person rebounding is usually more focused on their ex and feeling good in the wake of the breakup than the person they're dating.

[Edit]The breakup was a rash decision on their part.

1. Decisions made in the heat of an argument often lead to regret. It's common for couples to make snap decisions and break up in moments of high passion, hurt, or anger. You both may have been upset with one another and said things you didn't mean. However, if your breakup results from a few heated words, making amends and repairing the relationship is possible.
   
   • If you got too emotional at the time of the breakup, you could even tell your ex so. "I was upset, but after some reflection, I'd like to discuss the issue with you, if possible."

[Edit]The breakup was amicable.

1. A mutual breakup for external reasons means less resentment to deal with. Think about the circumstances of your breakup. Was it mutual, civil, or done for non-personal reasons beyond your control? Do you and your ex still like and respect one another? Reconnecting is much easier when there isn't any bitterness or resentment lingering from problems you had with each other.
   
   • For example, you might have broken up because of long distance or clashing work schedules. One of you might have been stressed or depressed and needed time to work on yourself.
   • Amicable breakups don't mean you don't love each other; just that the circumstances weren't right. Therefore, if you get a chance to be together again, you might find your ex comes back to you eagerly. But to be honest moving on is the best thing to do.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/screaming-the-void/202108/putting-end-the-blocking-game-your-phone
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-true-love/201102/do-you-ever-wonder-about-getting-your-ex-back
3. ↑ [v161181_b01]. 24 September 2019.
4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201708/10-reasons-why-some-people-cannot-let-go-ex
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-love-and-war/201405/the-10-worst-reasons-stay-friends-your-ex
6. ↑ [v161181_b01]. 24 September 2019.
7. ↑ [v161181_b01]. 24 September 2019.
8. ↑ [v161181_b01]. 24 September 2019.
9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201712/4-ways-manage-the-fear-running-your-ex
10. ↑ [v161181_b01]. 24 September 2019.
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/200403/the-art-the-compliment
12. ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202205/why-again-again-relationships-are-so-stressful
14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/202206/why-rebound-relationships-might-not-be-so-bad

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