How to Climb a Tree

Climbing a tree is a great childhood pastime. But it doesn't always come naturally, especially for those of us with a fear of heights or uncertainty as to the tree's stability. Then there are those who want to climb trees for sport – or even as part of their job – and we'll cover that, too. No matter how serious you are, the trees are out there ready to be climbed. Are you ready?

Steps

Climbing for Fun

1. Find a nice sturdy, big tree and inspect it. Make sure it has strong, large branches that can support your weight – a solid 8 inches around (20 cm) is a good size. Avoid a tree that has many branches below it, as this is a sign that the tree may be rotting or drying out.
   
   
   
   • If the tree has dying branches toward the bottom, that's okay – those branches just aren't getting enough sun. It's branches towards the top that are rotting from the tip that you want to look out for (in addition to a pile of branches on the ground).
   • If the tree has decent-sized branches toward the bottom, this will be even easier to climb up. Once in the branches, the hard part is done; the lower the branches are, the quicker the hard part passes!
   • If you aren't sure, find out more about your local trees at a library, on the Internet, or by asking a teacher, a botanist or other tree-climbers.
2. Inspect the area, too. Just because a tree looks sturdy and is big does not mean it's safe. Here are a few other things you should look for:
   
   
   
   • Are there power lines? If so, this is not a good tree to choose. You could get electrocuted.
   • Do you see any bark missing? This tree could be suffering from a fungus or virus, making it weak.
   • Are there any animals or nests in it? If so, choose another tree. Any number of things could go wrong if you encroach on their territory.
3. Throw on an old pair of pants, some gloves with grip, and tennis shoes. Climbing trees is not for those dressed in their Sunday best. An old pair of pants will protect your skin should you get scuffed or scratched, and should they rip, it's okay. Gloves will help your grip and protect your hands, and tennis shoes will be the best to not lose traction on the bark.
   
   
   
   • If you're not scurrying up a trunk, gloves may not be necessary. If your hands can handle it, gloves are optional. Some people find that they have more dexterity and grip without them.
4. Start by stretching. Do this so that you don't end up hurting yourself by pulling a muscle on your way up. Climbing will lengthen your muscles and put some pressure on them as you support your weight while hauling your body up the tree, so it's good to get them warmed up.
   
   
   
   • If you're going for a serious climb, get your muscles loose with a light jog and maybe some jumping jacks. Just cold stretching isn't wise if you're really about to put your muscles to the test.
5. Start your ascent. Look for a sturdy place for your foot or a secure spot for your hand. Trees have gnarls, knots, bark holes, smaller branches, etc., that you can use as footholds. Beware of any overly thin or crumbling spots though!
   
   
   
   • Wrap a foot and an arm on either side of the tree, and hoist yourself up, alternating between using your hands and your legs. Grip the sides of the tree with your thighs and calves to make it easier on your arms.
   • If you're even the tiniest bit unsure, test out an area first. Press down on it with your hand or foot and see if it seems sturdy. If it is, move on in that path. If it's not, find an alternate route.
6. Think of the actions of climbing animals. Think about how a monkey or a koala might climb the tree. It will give you a mental image of agility to keep your mind focused on climbing. Be very steady and firm in your climbing at first, as you get used to the climbing, you will be able to clamber up more quickly.
   
   
   
   • Each tree is different. On one tree, you may be able to grab a low-hanging branch and flip up into the body of the tree. On another, you may have to scurry up the trunk, using knot after knot as a foothold. As you get more and more experience, what to do will become clearer and clearer.
7. Go as high as you possibly can. Don't climb where you feel unsafe or unsure though – just remain within your level of comfort. The idea is to enjoy it, not scare yourself witless. Look around – are there any more branches that could support your weight?
   
   
   
   • Stick to the base of the branch, as this will be the sturdiest area. It will also make it easier and quicker to climb up. What's more, every branch is attached to the trunk, so you have all your options at your feet.
8. Enjoy your view. Look around for animals in neighboring trees. Watch the clouds float on by. Look below if you dare and see how much smaller the world has become beneath your feet. What's it like up there?
   
   
   
   • Some people can spend hours in trees, basking in how relaxing and freeing it feels. If you find a particularly good one, next time bring a book and a blanket and stay for a while!
9. Descend slowly and carefully. To go down make sure you move slowly and take your time. If you do not, you can end up seriously injured. Most of the time it helps to climb down facing the tree rather than trying to climb outwards.
   
   
   
   • Take the same path you took up, if you can. You know that one is sturdy.
   • Again, stick to the base of the tree if you can. It provides you more options and is the strongest part of the tree.
   • If you can do that, find a more challenging tree to climb!

Climbing for Sport

1. Get the right equipment. If you're looking to climb trees for sport (or even for pay, to clean up an area after a tornado or hurricane, for example), you'll need the right equipment to keep you safe. Here's what you'll need:^[1]
   
   
   
   • Throw line. This is a brightly-colored, thin rope that gets literally thrown over the branch. It is attached to a weight, called a "throw bag."
   • Static rope. This type of rope lacks the stretchiness of "dynamic" rope using in rock climbing.
   • Harness and helmet. You can use a helmet like those designed for rock climbing. However, you want a harness specifically designed for climbing trees. A rock-climbing harness would cut off the circulation to your legs.
   • A Prusik cord. This helps you ascend. It's attached to your climbing rope and your harness with a carabiner. Alternatively, you can use a foot ascender.
   • Branch protector. Alternatively known as a cambium protector. These protect tree branches from friction, while helps your climbing rope last longer. Metal ones, which look like conduits, are more convenient than leather ones.
2. Select a safe tree. You're looking to throw your rope over a branch that is, at the very least, 6 inches (15 centimeters) in diameter. Any smaller than that and it could snap. The bigger it is, the better. Here's a few other things to consider:^[2]
   • Make sure it's healthy. If the tree is old, diseased, or dying, leave it alone.
   • The tree needs to be away from hazards, like power lines, animals, and nests.
   • Make sure it's big enough for your party. A spreading tree, like a hardwood, is best for large groups. Conifers are only suitable for 1 or 2 people.
   • Are you allowed to climb it? The last thing you want is to get into legal trouble for being on someone's property illegally.
   • Finally, consider its location in general. Is it easy to get to? Will it be scenic at the top? What will the wildlife be like?
3. Once you've selected your tree, inspect it carefully. Just because a tree is big, sturdy, and in the right location doesn't necessarily mean it's fit for climbing. There are four zones you should consider in your inspection:^[3]
   • The wide angle view. Often trees are better viewed from far away. That way it's easier to see an odd lean or an unstable branch, in addition to the commonly obscured power line.
   • The ground. Where you put your feet matters, too. You don't want to pick a tree that has too many knots at its base, a nest of hornets, root decay, or poison ivy.
   • The trunk. Missing bark on a trunk may indicate decay or recent attack, both of which weaken the tree. And as for trees with two or three trunks, inspect where they branch off from at the base. Weakness should be avoided here.
   • The crown. Dead branches at the bottom of a tree are normal (they haven't gotten enough sunlight); however, dead branches at the top mean the tree is dying. Any tree with a plethora of dead branches (especially on the top), should be avoided.
4. Once you've chosen the right tree, set up your climbing system. In the following steps, we will describe the double-rope technique, which is safer and easier for beginners. This method is especially common with oaks, poplars, maples, and pines (trees that grow around 100 feet tall).^[4] Here's how to start:
   • Loop your throw line over your selected, sturdy branch. You may need a specialized sling shot if the branch is that far away.
   • Then, the throw line is attached to the static rope so that it's looped over the branch. At this point, your branch protectors should be placed on the rope.
   • Tie a series of knots, with the main knot being a Blake's hitch. A double fisherman's knot will go nicely around your carabiner.^[5]This will advance you up the tree.
5. Put on your harness, helmet, and attach yourself to the climbing system. Make sure your harness is strapped on correctly and is snug. Once snug, attach yourself to the system – there are many ways to do this and it's all a matter of preference. Then, it's time to ascend up your tree! When you aren't moving, it's the main knot that holds you in place. For the record, the heavier and bigger you are, the more difficult this will be (children, in general, find it quite easy).^[4] But anyone can do it!
   
   
   
   • Some climbers choose to use only their arms to climb. Others use either a foot loop or other “foot assist” method to easily push themselves up. Using a foot assist is very common.
   • You're not technically climbing the tree. You're climbing the rope, using the tree as your guide, or anchor. When you're tired, just rest your feet on it if you'd like and resume when you're ready.
6. Ascend up the tree as far as you wish. If you wish to pause and take in the view, all you have to do is let go (you're safe!). It's this kind of moment that's often the most thrilling. Once you reach the branch where your rope is looped, you can descend whenever you wish.
   • If you're not quite ready to come down and feel up to a bit of a challenge, you could always secure yourself to the branch and prepare to go higher. This will require placing new rope settings (called "pitches") over above branches. However, this does take an experienced climber.^[4]
7. Begin your descent. This is the simplest part: all you have to do is grab the main knot (the Blake's hitch) and gently pull down. Don't go too quickly! A safe descent is a slow descent.
   • Many seasoned climbers often place safety (slip) knots in their ropes to keep themselves from descending too quickly. But remember: if you let go, you'll stop. The Blake's hitch prevents you from falling if you, for any reason, would need to let go.
8. When you become a pro, try the single rope technique. It's not a hard-to-decipher name: this is when you just use one rope anchored to a branch or base of a tree. You then climb the other end of the rope via some type of mechanical device, like a mechanical ascender, where you "inchworm" up the rope.^[4]
   • It's easier to use your legs this way, making this method a little less strenuous. That being said, it actually requires more equipment. To ascend, you'll need ascending devices and to descend, descending devices. However, devices that cover both can be found, though they're rarer and more expensive.

Staying Safe

1. Take a class. No book or Internet guide can truly teach you how to technically and safely climb trees. To really good get at it and become a pro, take a class. Some cities and states offer them, and in growing number, too – tree-climbing is getting more and more popular.^[6]
   • Just doing it by trial-and-error is a terrible idea. A qualified instructor should be at your side at all times while you're learning. Tree-climbing can be quite dangerous, so knowing what you're doing is of utmost importance.
2. Always stay on rope. Once in a while, you may get the urge to go off your rope, to avoid an obstacle or get to a particular spot. Don't do it! A wind could come up, you could lose your balance, and any number of things could then go wrong. Whether you're just beginning out or a seasoned vet, always stay on rope.
   • Though it should go without saying, always wear a helmet, too. It's easy to think that your head is safe and the tree is safe, but falling branches and other objects could result in serious injury.
3. Never climb near power lines. If your rope touches an active power line, you could get electrocuted. That quite literally will zap all the fun out of your tree-climbing excursion. When you're doing your inspection, don't even consider a tree that touches one of these.
4. Inspect a tree before you climb it. There are a number of factors you need to consider before climbing a tree and the most important one is safety. When you find a tree that looks promising, inspect its base, trunk, and branches. If it's the right size, is sturdy and healthy, and there are no hazards, it could be a good contender.
   • Be careful in old trees. It's possible they're in the dying process and you don't realize it – look for branches that are dying from their tips and dying branches up top.
   • Stay away from animals and nests. Climbing up a tree is all fun and games until a swarm of angry bees starts attacking you. Look for any sign of animals (insect or otherwise) before you begin.
5. Never wear leg spikes. It is highly frowned upon in the tree-climbing community to use leg spikes to climb trees (these essentially place a ladder-like rung under your foot and into the tree at all times). Why? They open up a tree to bacteria, viruses, fungi, and insects. Think of it as stabbing the tree, over and over. In the industry, they are only used for removing dead trees – they're not even used for pruning.^[5]
   • If, for some reason, you absolutely have to use leg spikes, make sure to wash them with alcohol between trees. You do not want to spread illnesses from a sick tree to a healthy one.

Tips

• The spot where the branch meets the tree is the sturdiest place on the branch to place your feet. Use those spots to your advantage.
• Maintain as many points of contact with the tree as possible. If the branch under your foot breaks, you need to be able to hold yourself up with your hands.
• A good way to check if a branch can support your weight is to compare it against your arm - typically, if it's as thick or thicker than your bicep, it can easily hold your weight. Of course, the strength of the limb is also dependent on the specifics of the tree itself, so always test it before putting your weight on it to make sure it is sturdy. However, this rule is generally safe.
• Make sure that the tree you are climbing is dry, as you could easily slip and fall.
• Branches are strongest near the trunk.
• Climbing a tree is not like climbing a ladder. You might have to get creative to reach the next branch - you can hook your knees and arms around branches, or use your hands to pull yourself up to a higher branch.
• If you have a sturdy, trustworthy tree in your own backyard, you might considering adding climbing ropes and even a tree house to add to the fun of climbing it. Over time, this tree will become like an old friend, and you'll know the ins and outs of climbing it without even thinking.
• Start by climbing a tree recommended to you by someone in your neighborhood. If there is a tree no one else has climbed... there might be a good reason why not.
• Look out for sticky sap, especially on pine trees.
• Always look up while moving up the tree.
• Be sure to try not to get your foot stuck between limbs.
• Make sure you protect your palms and soles of your foot, as you can easily damage them from the rough bark.
• Use your legs more than you use your arms, as it is much less tiring.
• Use gloves to prevent splinters.
• Always remember, if you were able to climb up, you are able to climb down.

Warnings

• Watch out for biting insects in the tree bark, especially on the trunk; for example, ants.
• Test branches before you rest your weight on them!
• Before climbing onto a hard-to-reach branch, make sure you can safely get down.
• If you jump out of a tree, make sure to roll after you land, no matter how high you are. Even a four foot drop can seriously damage your ankles or knees if you don't absorb the shock of landing.
• Be careful of rotting or overly thin branches that cannot support your weight.
• Watch for poison ivy.
• Make sure you don't disturb any animals!
• Do not climb alone. Always take a climbing buddy or a person who remains at the base of the tree to keep an eye out for you. At the very least, make sure the tree is within yelling distance of parents, friends or other family members.
• Never jump off a tree. If you need assistance, tell your climbing buddy to yell for help.
• Tree climbing is illegal in most city and state parks.^[5]

Things You'll Need

• A good tall and sturdy tree
• A good pair of gloves and tennis shoes
• Strength
• Flexibility
• Tree-climbing gear (if doing for sport)

Sources & Citations

Related wikiHows

• How to Climb a Tree With No Branches
• How to Climb Onto a Tree With Branches High Up
• How to Measure the Height of a Tree
• How to Climb a Ladder Safely
• How to Find a Good Tree to Climb
• How to Free Climb a Tree

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How to Be an Attractive Woman

There is a common misconception that physical appearance completely determines attractiveness, but this is simply not true. If you want people to be drawn to you, there are a variety of things you can do as a woman that will have others flocking to you in time.

Steps

Be You

1. Be distinctly you. If you observe people at a party or any social gathering, you'll notice the majority of guys drawn to women with unique (but not intimidating) personalities. Focus on what makes you interesting and fun to talk to, and let those aspects of your personality shine through.
   
   
   
2. Love yourself. You can be pretty but not attractive if you don't learn how to love yourself. Nobody will care how shiny and thick your hair is, for example, if you keep complaining about your waist size. Confidence is powerful and infectious, so try to learn to be confident.
   
   
   
3. Be principled. Stick up for what you believe in. Knowing what you like and don't like, what you believe in and what you disavow, is extremely attractive. Being principled will help you maintain your moral compass and keep your social life tidy.
   
   
   
4. Don't necessarily listen to the opinion of other women when pursuing men. Every woman has their own perception of beauty and what they think men find attractive. "Wear this," "Do that," "Show your left ankle; men love it, and they will respect you for it too!" While sometimes helpful, this kind of advice can keep you distracted from the real goal: expressing who you are.
   
   
   
   • Go with your own gut, your own instinct; the men who don't respect you for it aren't the men you want to attract. Besides, women all have different ways/methods of attracting others.

Be Outgoing

1. Be willing to participate. Whether it's talking, eating, gaming, dancing, or snorkeling, it's only polite to join in. Who knows, you might learn something, too. A person who just sits there watching might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign that says "I'm a boring person who doesn't like fun!"
   
   
   
   • This doesn't mean you should join in drinking or partying if you're not into those things. Participate only in what you have fun doing.
   • To get involved, walk kindly up to a person or group and ask, "Do you mind if I join you?" If they say yes, go ahead and have fun. If they say no, you probably wouldn't have had fun joining them anyway!
2. Be capable of carrying on a conversation. You don't need to have something in common with a guy for conversation to blossom, but it helps. If a guy tries to talk to you and you just stand there, he's going to move on, so learn to be interested in lots of different topics and remember to ask questions.
   
   
   
   • A good conversation starter is to ask his opinion about something superficial, such as whether INXS picked the right guy or if he did anything fun recently. Avoid asking him for input about your looks, as it can seem like you're fishing for compliments.
   • Keep the conversation light. Above all, don't put yourself down, unless you do so in a humorous way.
   • Maintain eye contact. This will help establish a deeper connection. You're reminding him that you're paying attention, and that you expect him to do the same.

Be Positive

1. Be kind. A rude person turns ugly in the eyes of whoever who sees her, just as someone who's nice turns into a prettier person in the eyes of everyone who sees her.
   
   
   
   • Try to be nice to everyone, but also be ready to defend yourself against any rude attitudes, since letting people walk all over you is not very attractive.
   • If anyone is "different", avoid making fun of them or giving them a nasty, "I am better than you" look.
2. Don't be afraid to smile. Even a little smile will make you more attractive. What else could be more inviting and approachable?
   
   
   
   • Be readable. You don't have to be predictable, but don't keep a poker face when it comes to emotions. Guys want a little feedback.
   • Don't force it if it's not there. Try to smile, but don't be fake. Smile when you feel like it.

Take Care of Yourself

1. Be healthy. Eyes take kindly to a woman who takes care of herself.
   
   
   
   • Find a happy medium for your weight, eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise.
   • Being healthy makes you more energetic, is great for your mental health, and does wonders for your confidence.
2. Take care of your skin. Blemishes, especially those on the face, can be distracting.
   
   
   
   • Wash your face regularly, and wear moisturizer and sunblock daily to prevent wrinkles and sun damage.
   • Apply makeup to accentuate your complexion, but never to hide your features.
3. Be hygienic. Maintain your body's cleanliness so that you always smell and look fresh and lovely.
   
   
   
   • Take showers, brush your teeth after every meal, and wear clean clothes.
4. Keep your hair healthy and styled. They say that the hair is the portrait of the face, so make sure it looks great.
   
   
   
   • Comb and brush your hair every day. Greasy or damaged hair is seldom attractive.
   • Favor styles that fit your facial shape. Accentuate your natural features instead of fighting against them.
5. Visit a day spa. You don't have to do it every week, but don't be afraid to pamper yourself every once in a while. Get a manicure and pedicure, a massage, or a facial. If you feel good, chances are you'll look good, too.
   
   
   
6. Be stylish. Make sure you look your best no matter what. Wear clothes that flatter you, and don't forget to accessorize.
   
   
   
   • Even if you're wearing sweat pants, dab a little gloss onto your lips and wear gold hoop earrings or a bracelet.
   • Try wearing a fitted top with loose bottoms, or fitted bottoms with a loose top for an "attractive" outfit.
   • For more special occasions, try wearing high heeled sandals, a flowy blouse and skinny jeans.

Tips

• Smile when someone looks at you. It's polite and people will think you're lovely.
• Try to look the best that you can be, in other words show how great you are on the inside and on the outside
• Some guys will just not like you and we just have to accept it. Keep in mind that you do not need everyone to like you, though.
• Be accepting of others. Every person wants to be accepted for who he or she is. It's not your job to get along with everybody else in the world, but you owe others respect if you expect them to respect you back.
• Don't change your looks to please other people. Only change your looks to please yourself.
• Find activities you like to do, and expand on them. That way, you'll attract people who like the same thing and you will become interest to others more in general because of your unique skills!
• Be lighthearted and roll with the punches.
• Don't change for a person. Just because you want to be with them doesn't mean you have to change for them. If they really cared about you, they'd like you for who you are.
• Don't worry about what other people think of you! Just have fun!
• Don't force something if it isn't there. Even if it is a bit disappointing, move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea!.
• Never hide your feelings. If you are too shy to talk to him about it just drop subtle hints.
• Be kind to everyone. If you dislike a person be tactful.
• If the guy you like said something you are against feel free to express your opinions while trying to understand his side also.
• Always be yourself, no matter what.
• Just because a certain style looks good on other girls doesn't mean it looks good on you.

Be different, stand out so people will notice your beauty and uniqueness. Look down while smiling.

Warnings

• Speak your mind, but don't be surprised when people disagree. You have reasons for your beliefs, just like other people do. Be accepting of differences of opinion.
• Don't copy other people. You are the seed of your own originality.
• Don't be shallow. When looking for a serious relationship, girls want to find a partner who is interested in them for not just their looks. Believe it or not, the same goes for guys. At least for guys who are worth more than 10 minutes of your time.
• Don't be obsessed with what's in vogue. Being fashionable is great, but don't be afraid listen to your own fashion sense. The men who really deserve your time and attention will respect you for the person you are, regardless of how fashion-savvy you are.
• Do not expose yourself too much. Guys might like what you wear, but they probably won't respect you if you flaunt your figure.

Related wikiHows

• How to Be a Normal Good Looking Girl from Inside and Outside
• How to Be Charming
• How to Get a Guy to Notice You
• How to Get a Guy to Like You
• How to Be Irresistible to Men
• How to Build Self Confidence
• How to Be a Strong Independent Woman
• How to Walk Like a Diva
• How to Take Care of Your Skin
• How to Be Beautiful
• How to Take Care of Your Skin and Hair by Taking Care of Your Mental Health
• How to Be Mysterious to Attract People
• How to Be More Attractive to Someone at Work

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How to Install an Apple TV

Apple’s digital media device, the Apple TV, allows users to stream videos, music and TV, using a high-speed Internet connection. It is highly compatible with other Apple products and Internet TVs. You must have an HDMI connection and a wireless or Ethernet connection in order to install Apple TV.

Steps

Connecting the Hardware

1. Purchase an HDMI cable if you don’t have one already. They are available at tech stores and online for $5 to $20. HDMI cables have two identical ends, and they are used to connect both video and audio.
   
   
   
2. Choose a location for your Apple TV that is very close to the TV and to an electrical outlet.
   
   
   
3. Turn your TV off while you connect the cables. Insert one end of the HDMI cable into the back of the TV. Insert the other end into the back of the Apple TV.
   
   
   
   • Both ports should say “HDMI.”
4. Plug the Apple TV power cable into the wall. Then, plug the other end into the power port in the back of the Apple TV device.
   
   
   
5. Insert the Ethernet cable into the back of the Apple TV if this is your chosen Internet connection. If it is not, you can skip this step. Insert the other end of the Ethernet cable into your modem.
   
   
   

Installing the Apple TV

1. Grab your Apple TV remote. This is a small silver and black remote that looks like an iPod.
   
   
   
2. Press the center button of the remote to start the Apple TV. It may have powered on automatically upon being plugged in.
   
   
   
3. Choose your language by scrolling up and down with the buttons above and below the center circle on your remote. Click the center button to select the language.
   
   
   
4. Choose the network you want to use. It may be automatic if you are plugged into the Ethernet. You will need to scroll and select the wireless network if not.
   
   
   
   • Always use the center of your remote to select.
5. Type in your wireless network password in the space provided. You will need to use the up, down, left and right directional buttons around the outer circle to choose numbers and letters and type your password. Press the select button when you are finished.
   
   
   
6. Decide whether you want to share your data with Apple. Confirm or select “No Thanks.”^[1]
   
   
   

Changing Apple TV Settings

1. Look for the main menu that lists the TV, music and interactive channels that are available to you on this device. Press the small Menu button on the bottom left of your remote to get back to this main menu at any point.
   
   
   
2. Scroll through the apps with your directional buttons. Select the “Settings” Channel.
   
   
   
3. Click on “General.” Look for the “Update Software” option to ensure your Apple TV software is up to date.
   
   
   
4. Return to this general menu to change your network, switch languages, adjust time and fine-tune your Apple TV settings.
   
   
   
5. Press the Menu button and click on a channel that you’d like to peruse. The first time you use a channel, you will be asked to enter a confirmation code that you have an account or you will asked to enter your username and password. Set up all your channels so that you can use your Apple TV to stream content right away.
   
   
   
6. Have your Apple ID nearby. Your Apple TV allows you to connect to your iTunes account through this ID. You can purchase music or movies through iTunes or the Apple movie store using this ID, since it is associated with your credit card.^[2]
   
   
   

Things You'll Need

• Apple TV power cable
• HDMI cable
• Widescreen/HDMI compatible TV
• Apple TV remote
• Ethernet cable

Sources and Citations

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How to Attract a Cancer Man

If you subscribe to an astrological view of the world and are attracted to a man who happens to be a Cancer, keep the following in mind. Cancer men are complex members of the zodiac family. Shy and withdrawn, a Cancer man will only become attracted to you if you first manage to elbow your way into his life. On the other hand, most Cancer men appreciate women who let them take over the traditional male role of a relationship, so you'll need to let him eventually hold the reins if you want a relationship to get going.

Steps

Part One: Appeal to His Love of Family

1. Present a traditional feminine aura. Most Cancer men are attracted to women who are highly feminine in a very traditional way. Subconsciously, a Cancer male will be looking for a woman who fits his image of the ideal wife and mother. Everything from your appearance to your mannerisms should ooze femininity.
   
   
   
   • Slip on a sensual, flirty outfit before you approach him, like a dress that hugs your curves in all the right places. Floral perfumes in classic scents, like rose, can also create the perfect feminine ambiance around you.^[1]
   • Don't try to slip in under the radar as "one of the guys." Skip the dirty jokes and witty jabs; instead, speak softly and compassionately. Avoid acting too boyish around him.
2. Show off your homemaking skills. After you get to know him a little, take the initiative and show off your ability to keep house in a very traditional manner. One of the easiest ways to do this is through cooking. Cook up a meal or treat for him, or invite him over to cook a complex recipe with you.
   
   
   
   • Keep in mind, however, that the Cancer man is a little more withdrawn and may resist your affections if he believes that you're coming on too fast. Inviting him back to your place for a meal the first time you meet him will probably end in rejection. Wait until you have already established some sort of bond with him before you extend an invitation into your home.
3. Emphasize your love of family. You should talk about the love you have for your current family as well as any dreams you have about marrying and starting a family of your own. Cancer men generally dream of having children someday, so it'll help your case dramatically if your dreams are in line with his.
   
   
   
   • When talking about your current family, focus on the maternal side. Talk about things you have learned from your mother or time you have recently spent with your mother. Cancer is a classic mama's boy, and if you can show a love for your mother that rivals the love he has for his own, you can connect to him more easily.^[2]
   • In addition to all the “mom” talk, converse with him about pleasant family memories and your childhood.
4. Connect to the people close to him. As long as your Cancer man has a functional family, he will probably be very close to them. The sooner you can get to know his family, the sooner you can attract him as a potential mate.
   
   
   
   • Once again, the Cancer man tends to be a mama's boy. If you can meet his mother and get on her good side, you can quickly promote yourself in his eyes.
   • If he did not have a good relationship with his family growing up, chances are, it was not by his choice. A Cancer man who did not receive the love of family from his actual family will probably view his circle of friends as his family, instead. In this case, your best bet is to get on good terms with his friends. Focus on his female friends, though, since getting too cozy with his male buddies might cause him to distrust your affection for him.
5. Talk about his family in a positive way. Invite him to talk about his own family and connect other topics of conversation back to his family as often as possible. Always do so in a positive light, though, and avoid anything that could sound like an insult toward those he loves.
   
   
   
   • For instance, if you've seen his mother and he shares some resemblance with her, mention it to him.
   • You could also try complimenting the relationship he has with his siblings or remarking on how much you think a certain family member might enjoy the great new band/restaurant/book/movie you're talking about.

Part Two: Appeal to His Organized Side

1. Keep a neat, organized appearance. Cancers are neat, orderly guys. As such, they will generally find women who can be equally organized more appealing than those who are complete slobs. Any space you claim in front of the Cancer male should be clean. Even if you are unable to keep up with his level of tidiness, you need to make a good effort at it.
   
   
   
   • In other words, don't invite him into your personal space if your desk is covered in papers or if your apartment is covered in dirty laundry. You do not need to have everything labeled and filed away into neat little packages, but some basic cleanliness and a lack of clutter will go a long way.
2. Ask him to help you organize your space. If you do have a cluttered area, tell him about it before he finds out on his own by asking him to help you organize it. The appeal of this petition is three-fold: you'll make him feel needed, you'll appeal to his natural love of organization, and you'll demonstrate a willingness to become less messy and more organized yourself.
   
   
   
3. Avoid spontaneity. The occasional romantic surprise is fine, but as a general rule, avoid making any sudden wild suggestions or demanding something without any warning. Cancer guys like to keep all aspects of their life organized. This includes both physical space and intangible time.
   
   
   

Part Three: Make Him Feel Needed

1. Ask him for help. Cancers like to assume the traditional male role of provider and protector. Give him the chance to provide for you in some way by asking for his help. The situation does not need to be anything major, but it helps if you choose a task that your Cancer dreamboat usually excels at so that he can complete it thoroughly and impressively.
   
   
   
   • Ask him for help when you move into a new office or apartment, or if you go shopping for a new car. If nothing quite so dramatic lies ahead of you, however, look for smaller excuses. For example, ask his opinion about a dilemma you have at work, even if you've secretly solved the issue yourself.
2. Satisfy his craving for affection. Even though Cancers like to assume a traditional male role, they are also fairly in touch with their emotions. They crave love on an emotional level, so don't be afraid to shower them with affection. The more your actions demonstrate your affection, the more likely your Cancer man is to respond in kind.
   
   
   
3. Compliment him. Offer a kind word about his appearance, his skills, or the way he makes you feel. Compliments make your Cancer feel good about himself, and he can appreciate a woman who gives him the sort of buzz you'll provide whenever you tell him how wonderful he is.
   
   
   
   • Make sure that your compliments are genuine and subtle, though. If a Cancer man suspects that you are trying to flatter him, he might become uncomfortable and start to withdraw from you.
4. Share your feelings.^[3] Since Cancer men tend to be on the emotional side, they also have a tendency to feel attracted to women who can be equally expressive in their emotions if not more so. Plus, showing your own willingness to open up can demonstrate how much you want him or need him in your life.
   
   
   
   • Remember that Cancers tend to be insecure. The quickest way to establish a sense of emotional security with your Cancer crush is to make the first emotional investment.
5. Try not to contradict him. Everyone is wrong sometimes, and the Cancer man is no exception. That said, since Cancers are so emotionally reactive, they tend to lash out when directly contradicted or corrected in a harsh manner.
   
   
   
   • When you need to correct him, be tactful and persuasive.^[4] Rely solely on reason to make your point and try not to get emotional or reactive.
   • Similarly, when he gets angry or upset, do not lash back in response. Wait for him to calm down on his own rather than trying to force him into a calmer state.

Part Four: Encourage Him to Trust You

1. Stay within sight. Oftentimes, real attraction is not instantaneous with a Cancer man. You will need to enter within his field of vision on a fairly regular basis before he comes to appreciate your presence there.
   
   
   
2. Make the first move. Cancers tend to be shy, so gather up your courage and approach him first. The key is to present yourself in a non-aggressive way. Introduce yourself and cement your existence in his mind, but never push or pry your way inside his personal bubble, especially if he seems uncomfortable.
   
   
   
   • You'll need to be assertive, but indirectly so. Persistence is important here. Show him that you're genuinely interested in him by continually making the effort to approach him. A Cancer guy can be a little insecure at times, but once you calm those insecurities and demonstrate that your interest is real and lasting, he can feel comfortable enough to develop his own attraction and affection for you in return.
3. Never confess your feelings directly. Dealing with a Cancer man can be incredibly complex and may test your patience. As someone who likes to assume the traditional male role in a relationship, he will probably want to confess his feelings first and may find you less attractive if you jump first. On the other hand, you have to make your feelings so obviously clear to him that he has very little reason to doubt your attraction to him.
   
   
   
4. Listen. Cancer men are usually attracted to women who will share their feelings, but you'll be even more attractive if you demonstrate a willingness to really listen to everything he says. He needs to open up at his own pace and may do so slowly, but if you want to become an attractive person in his eyes, you'll need to be a trustworthy presence every step of the way.
   
   
   
   • Occasionally, you should make it a point to demonstrate that you've been actively listening to him. Remember his birthday or any other special days he mentions to you. If he tells you about something he has going on at work in a few days, ask him how it went after the event passes.
5. Avoid arousing his jealousy. You might be tempted to prod his affections along by flirting with other guys, but doing so can damage or kill any budding attraction he already has for you. Cancer men need to feel that they can completely trust their partners. If you give him even the slightest reason to doubt this early on, he may write you off as a potential mate.
   
   
   
6. Prepare yourself for his possessiveness. Once a Cancer starts feeling attracted to you, he will probably become notably more possessive. If you want to nurture his growing attraction, you'll need to find ways of coping with his perceived invasion into your personal space. If you push him away, he will probably stay away for good.
   
   
   
   • Of course, you should always mind your own needs when pursuing a potential relationship, even when doing so can chase away the guy you've set your sights on. If his possessiveness becomes dangerous or otherwise unnerving, walk away and don't look back. Even if his possessiveness seems innocent and harmless, though, you should still take a step back if it makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy.
7. Prepare yourself for a long relationship.^[5] If you're hoping to attract a Cancer man for a one night stand, you should probably set your sights elsewhere. His aversion to wild, quick-paced actions and his dedication to family make the Cancer guy a poor candidate for a fling. If you want to attract him in the hopes of starting a long-term relationship, though, you'll probably have much greater success.
   
   
   

Warnings

• Note that the more you bend your behavior to these recommendations, you might be misleading him into thinking you're someone you're not, which does not bode well for any relationship.

Sources and Citations

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