How to Budget Your Money

Creating a solid budget is the first step in taking control of your financial life and making your money work for you. It can help you crush your outstanding debt, put money into savings, and feel more relaxed and less stressed out. Budgeting doesn’t always have to mean spending less—it may just mean putting your money towards the important things first before treating yourself.^[1] By keeping track of your income and expenses each month, you can become a master of your money and meet your goals in a timely manner.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Budgeting Help

Sample List of Expenses

Sample List of Expenses

Sample Low Income Budget

Sample Low Income Budget

Sample High Income Budget

Sample High Income Budget

[Edit]Creating a Budget

1. Create a budgeting spreadsheet.^[2] You can create a simple spreadsheet using Google Sheets or Excel. Your goal is to chart all your expenses and income during the course of a year, so make a spreadsheet that shows all your information clearly, allowing you to quickly identify any areas where you can spend smarter.^[3]
   
   • Label the top row with the 12 months of the year.
2. Find your monthly income after taxes. Your net income, or the income that is yours to spend, is your monthly income after taxes are deducted. If you are on a salary, this will be a fixed amount each month, which you can find on your paystub. If you work an hourly position, your income may vary from month to month, but you can find an average amount by looking at your last 3 to 4 paystubs.^[4]
   
   • If you are a freelance worker or self-employed, you may be receiving your entire income without taxes taken out. Try to set aside about 20% of your income to pay your taxes at the end of the year.
3. List all of your fixed expenses. Fixed expenses are the things that you pay the same price for every single month. This may include your rent, mortgage, some utilities, student loan payments, or a car payment.^[5] Add a label for each expense on the column at the very left of your spreadsheet, then write down the monetary amount you spend in each box underneath its corresponding month. For example:^[6]
   
   • Rent: $1,000
   • Electric: $100
   • Car payment: $250
   • Student loans: $400
   • Credit card payment: $100
4. Write down your variable expenses. Variable expenses are the ones where the monetary amounts might change from month to month. These are usually the areas that are easy to cut back on if you’re trying to save money.^[7] Add these labels underneath your fixed expenses, then add them for every month that you can. For example, the month of March might say:^[8]
   
   • Groceries: $350
   • Gas: $120
   • Entertainment: $300
   • Personal items (hair care, makeup, clothes, etc.): $200
   • Vacation fund: $50
   • Savings: $200
5. Compare your expenses to your income. To make your monthly budget, add up the total amount of money you spend every month from fixed and variable expenses. Then, subtract that amount from your monthly income. Whatever you have left over is your disposable income, or money that you have left at the end of the month. If you don’t have any money left or the number is negative, you’re probably spending more than you make each month.^[9]
   
   • For example: $600 (fixed expenses) + $550 (variable expenses) = $1,150 per month. $2,000 (monthly income) - $1,150 (total expenses) = $850 disposable income.

[Edit]Using Your Budget

1. Pay all of your expenses first. Before you get into saving money or putting money towards a goal, you have to make sure that you are paying all of your bills.^[10] Make sure you’re allocating the bulk of your income every month toward your bills that you have to pay to keep a roof over your head and food in your mouth.^[11]
   
   • There’s no point in saving money if you still have outstanding bills to pay!
   • You should try to allocate 50% of your income towards living expenses / necessities.
2. Put your excess money toward a specific goal. Now that you know how much money you have left over at the end of the month, you can start putting that money toward your goals. You can put it into savings, pay off debt, or add it to a college fund for your kids. Make sure you know what you want to do with your extra money so you can make a plan.^[12]
   
   • For example, you could split your extra money into paying off debt and putting it in a savings account every month.
   • You could also give yourself a spending allowance or invest your excess money each month.
   • Try to put 20% of your income toward savings or a specific goal.
3. Adjust your habits if you are overspending. If you calculated how much money you have left over at the end of the month and it isn’t much, you may need to adjust your spending habits. Try spending less on optional items, like clothing, entertainment, and going out to eat.
   
   • Not everyone is in a position to cut back on spending right now, and that’s okay. Eating food, paying your bills, and buying clothes are all necessary to live life, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
   • Try to be realistic on what you can cut back on.^[13] It’s easy to say that you can cut your entertainment budget in half, but it might not be fun to decline going out with your friends every time they ask.
   • Around 30% of your income should be spent on things you want but don’t need.
4. Set short-term goals to achieve within 1 year. Now that you know how much money you receive and spend each month, you can set goals for your spending habits. Short-term goals are things that you can achieve within 12 months, and they should be specific and actionable. For example:^[14]
   
   • Put 5% of each paycheck in a savings account.
   • Pay off credit card balances in 12 months.
5. Create long-term goals to achieve within a few years. Long-term goals are your budgeting goals that might take a little longer than 1 year to achieve. They should also be specific and actionable, and you can think further ahead into the future. For example:^[15]
   
   • Save $8,000 in an emergency savings fund.
   • Pay off student loans in 3 to 5 years.
   • Save $10,000 for a downpayment on a home.
6. Write down what you spend every time you make a purchase. The best way to track how well you’re doing is to jot a note down every time you spend money. You can do this on a piece of paper, a note on your phone, or on a spreadsheet on the computer—whatever’s easiest. That way, you can see where your money is going and what you may be able to cut back on in the future.^[16]
   
   • Be really specific when you write down what you spent money on so you don’t forget it. For example, you could write, “$22.95 on a new watch for Mom’s birthday.”
7. Reduce your spending by purchasing less expensive items. If you realize that you’re overspending, you may be able to make small changes to your habits that don’t affect your life much at all. For example, try buying in bulk at the grocery store instead of going for name-brand items. Or, make your coffee at home instead of buying one from a coffee shop. Small changes like this can add up over time, so keep at it!^[17]
   
   • Try packing your lunch instead of buying one, exercising outside instead of at the gym, subscribing to an online newspaper instead of buying one, or getting your books from the library instead of buying them brand new.

[Edit]Practicing Good Budgeting Habits

1. Review your budget every month. Your income or expenses may change from month to month, and it’s important to keep your budget updated. Be sure to keep track of your total spending and savings, and adjust your expenses if you need to.^[18]
   
   • At the beginning of each month, take a look at last month’s budget and see how you did. This can help you make adjustments for the future.
   • If you got a pay raise or paid off a debt, this can also affect your budget.
2. Use a budgeting tool to make your budget easier.^[19] Spreadsheets are great, but it can be tough to keep track of your info all on your own. If you want to make your budget run a little smoother, try updating your information onto a budgeting website or app. That way, you’ll already have a budgeting template, and you can set reminders on the website to upload your spending habits so you don’t forget.^[20]
   
   • Quicken, Mint, YNAB, AceMoney, and BudgetPlus all offer budgeting services.
3. Treat yourself periodically, but within reason. Your money has to work for you, not the other way around. You don't want to feel like a slave to your budget, or to money in general, so it's important to allow yourself a small treat every month that won't break your budget.^[21]
   
   • Take a look at your budget and decide what you can afford to splurge on. Some months you might be able to afford a new pair of shoes, other months you might go for a latte or a new notebook.
4. Pay off your debt every month, if you can. If you use credit cards or have student loan debt, you should try to pay off at least the minimum amount every month to avoid high interest rates. If you cannot pay off the current balances, prioritize paying them off within a reasonable time period so that you can get to zero balances.^[22]
   
   • If you can afford to put more money toward your debt each month, you should prioritize that. Paying the minimum payment each month can take a long time to pay off your debt, and you can pay a ton of money in interest rates.
5. Keep money in savings for emergencies. You can never plan for emergencies, and they can destroy your budget if they catch you off guard. Try to set aside some money every month in case your car breaks down, you need medical care, or you lose your job. That way, you’ll have a cushion to help you out.^[23]
   
   • It’s better to plan ahead for the unexpected now than let it catch you off guard.
   • If something unexpected does happen, reach out to your credit card company and student loan company to see if they can forgive some late payments or hold off on collections for a few months.
   • The general rule of thumb is to save enough money to cover 6 months of your expenses. For example, if you spend $1,500 every month, try to save $9,000 for emergencies.

[Edit]How Can I Be Smarter With My Money?

[Edit]Tips

• Save your loose change in a jar and then take it into the bank to be rolled. You'll be surprised how your small change can add up.^[24]

[Edit]Warnings

• High interest credit cards can add up quickly, and you can end up paying much more than what you originally owed in the first place.^[25]

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Add Meaning to Your Life
• Trace a Money Order
• Pay Yourself First
• Save Money
• Reduce Expenses
• Get Out of Debt
• Use Your Time Wisely
• Figure out Your Life
• Use an App to Budget While Grocery Shopping

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
2. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.consumer.gov/sites/www.consumer.gov/files/pdf-1020-make-budget-worksheet_form.pdf
4. ↑ https://bettermoneyhabits.bankofamerica.com/en/saving-budgeting/creating-a-budget
5. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
6. ↑ https://bettermoneyhabits.bankofamerica.com/en/saving-budgeting/creating-a-budget
7. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
8. ↑ https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/saving-and-budgeting/articles/fixed-vs-variable-expenses-what-to-know
9. ↑ https://www.debt.org/advice/budget/
10. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
11. ↑ https://www.unitedway.org/my-smart-money/immediate-needs/i-cant-cover-my-expenses/tips-for-prioritizing-monthly-expenses#
12. ↑ https://www.consumer.gov/articles/1002-making-budget#!what-to-do
13. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
14. ↑ https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_your-money-your-goals_financial-empowerment_toolkit.pdf
15. ↑ https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_your-money-your-goals_financial-empowerment_toolkit.pdf
16. ↑ https://bettermoneyhabits.bankofamerica.com/en/saving-budgeting/creating-a-budget
17. ↑ https://bettermoneyhabits.bankofamerica.com/en/saving-budgeting/money-saving-tips-infographic
18. ↑ https://bettermoneyhabits.bankofamerica.com/en/saving-budgeting/creating-a-budget
19. ↑ [v161401_b01]. 6 May 2020.
20. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/robertberger/2015/11/19/7-budgeting-tools-to-better-manage-your-money/#519d8bd24274
21. ↑ https://files.consumerfinance.gov/f/documents/cfpb_your-money-your-goals_financial-empowerment_toolkit.pdf
22. ↑ https://www.nylag.org/coronavirusfinancialplanning/
23. ↑ https://www.nylag.org/coronavirusfinancialplanning/
24. ↑ http://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/saving-on-a-tight-budget
25. ↑ http://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/saving-on-a-tight-budget

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How to Start the New Year Fresh

After you celebrate New Year's Eve, it’s time to get to work on those New Year's resolutions! If you are looking for a way to start the new year fresh, consider changing your look, tidying up your life, and setting goals and intentions. You can do things like get a haircut, donate unworn clothing, start a workout routine, or perform more random acts of kindness. Having a schedule is also important for you to help stay on task, achieve more, have an organized day, and stay positive, which can help you feel happy, which then spreads to others, so they feel that same happiness. Little changes can affect those around you positively, so choose wisely. Whatever approach you prefer, it’s great to start the new year feeling refreshed and focused, so you are ready to take on the year ahead.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Polishing Your Look

1. Get a haircut to freshen up your face. Schedule an appointment with your stylist early into the new year. You can get a trim for a subtle upgrade or go for a bold new hairstyle for a totally different look. This way, you’ll feel fresh for the year ahead.
   
   • For instance, if you have long, straight hair, consider chopping it to shoulder-length and adding some layers.
   • If you have a short hairstyle, consider cutting the sides even shorter for a subtle change. For example, if you have a pixie cut, you can take it even shorter.
2. Experiment with your look by trying something new appearance-wise. Doing something new with your appearance can help you feel confident as you enter the new year. You can do things like rock a bold lip color, get a new facial piercing or upgrade your current glasses style. Find what works for your style and budget, and go for something new!^[1]
   
   • You can also dye your hair a bright color, go on a shopping spree for new clothing, or invest in a new pair of shoes.
3. Start a fitness routine. Think about your current health and your overall fitness goals, and make a plan to improve your health based on where you are. For instance, you can start taking a 20-minute walk after work every day, or you can train to run a marathon in the fall. Start simply and gradually so you can stick with your goals.^[2]
   
   • If you are new to exercise, you can find a gym in your area and start going 3 times a week. Walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes each time to get started.
   • If you are a fitness enthusiast, make a goal to improve your BMI or get a six-pack by the end of the year, for instance.

[Edit]Updating Your Attitude

1. Practice gratitude every day to fill your life with kindness. Practising gratitude can boost your mood overall and improve your outlook on life. Each day before you go to sleep, write down 3 things you are grateful for. In addition, express your gratitude for the people in your life by telling them you appreciate them.^[3]
   
   • For example, you can write things like, “I am grateful for my cat,” or “I am grateful for the sunshine today.”
2. Include a positive affirmation in your daily routine. Positive affirmations refer to a simple, short sentence that you can use as a reminder throughout your day. Using positive affirmations can boost your self-esteem over time, which is helpful when starting off a new year. To work with positive affirmations, find a phrase that works for you, like “I am worthy,” or “I am capable of challenges.” Tell yourself this first thing in the morning and throughout your day as you start to doubt.^[4]
   
   • Tailor your affirmation to your particular life and circumstance. For example, if you are working on being a more supportive friend, your affirmation can be “I am fun and loyal.”
3. Do random acts of kindness as often as possible. Random acts of kindness are small, deliberate actions performed to bring happiness to other people’s day. Do these actions without expecting to get anything in return, but rather to brighten someone’s day. This is a great way to start off the new year on a positive, compassionate note.^[5]
   
   • You can do things like giving generous compliments, smiling at strangers, and volunteering for charities.
   • Pick up trash on the side of the road, help an elderly citizen cross the road, or give food to the homeless.
   • You can also pay for the next person’s coffee or give your server a large tip.

[Edit]Tidying up Your Environment

1. Start your spring cleaning early to tidy up your space. Shortly into the new year, clean up your room, kitchen, bathroom, and/or basement. Tidy up any cluttered areas, throw away garbage, and put away items that are out of place. This way, you’ll enter the new year feeling neat and organized.^[6]
   
   • It is also helpful to clean out your car. Get rid of any trash, and sort through your center console and glove box, for instance.
2. Sort through your clothes and get rid of those you don’t wear often. The new year is a great time to take inventory of your wardrobe and get rid of items that no longer fit or suit your style. Take out the clothing in each of your drawers, and create 1 pile for clothing to keep and 1 pile for clothing to rehome. Then, fold your clothes neatly and return them to your dresser or closet. This helps you declutter your space and freshen up your style.^[7]
   
   • After you create a “rehome” pile, consider giving your items to your friends or family members, or donating them to a thrift store or consignment shop.
3. Add a fresh coat of paint to your walls to freshen up your room. Consider repainting the walls of your home early into the year. Cover the floor and your furniture with a drop cloth, and use a paint roller to apply indoor house paint to your walls. You can pick a new color for a change of pace, for instance.
   
4. Purchase a few new decorations to revamp your space. Visit a local thrift or home supply store, and pick out a couple of new items to redecorate with. For example, you can get 2-3 decorative throw pillows, a rug, a lamp, or a new bookshelf. Adding a few new items can make your home feel fresh and new.
   
   • You can also get small items like paperweights, vases, and magnets.

[Edit]Setting Goals and Intentions

1. Aim to try 1 new thing every month. In addition to your personal resolutions, it is helpful to strive to get out of your comfort zone at least 1 time each month. You can schedule 1 new thing each month, or you can pick a few things and choose when the time comes. Regardless, choose to do something you’ve never done before or learn about something brand-new to expand your horizons and grow as a person.^[8]
   
   • Trying a new thing can be as simple as eating a cuisine you’ve never tried before.
   • You can do active things like going kayaking, horseback riding, or skydiving.
   • Other ideas include taking a language class, joining a yoga studio, or planning a camping trip.
2. Make a bucket list of 20-50 things to try in the upcoming year. Shortly into the beginning of the year, sit down with a notebook and write out several things you want to do throughout the year. Choose simple, easy things such as “eat more vegetables” or specific, realistic goals like “Go back to college.” Add as many items to your list as you feel compelled, and check them off as you complete them throughout the year. The list provides a visual reference, helpful when trying to set goals.^[9]
   
   • You can use this list to help get ideas of new things to try each month.
   • Ideas for your bucket list could include visiting New York City, picking your own pumpkin, adopting a dog, taking a cooking class, and travelling to the beach.
3. Update your resume so you’re ready for new opportunities. Shortly into the new year, open up your resume, read it over, and look for ways to improve it. For instance, if you started a new job at the end of the year, add it under your “Employment” section. You can also update the dates to reflect the new year. This way, if you want to apply for a job, you are ready when the time comes.^[10]
   
   • You can also update your contact information or address.
4. Strive to improve your sleep habits. When the new year rolls in, getting more meaningful and restful sleep is a great goal to add to your resolution list. You can aim to relax more before you go to sleep, such as taking a bath, drinking chamomile tea, and reading a book. You can also go to sleep and wake up around the same time each day to get into a natural rhythm. Improving your sleep will, in turn, help you feel focused and energized throughout the year.^[11]
   
   • You can also use white noise or nature sounds to help you fall asleep.
   • Consider taking a melatonin supplement if you have trouble sleeping. Melatonin is a hormone produced in your brain that helps regulate sleep cycles. By adding 1-3 mg a day, you may get more restful sleep over time.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Ask a friend to do some of these things with you. This is a great way to make new year’s resolutions fun and engaging.

[Edit]Warnings

• Avoid setting too many goals. Sometimes, trying to do too many things at once gets overwhelming rather than inspiring. Keep your ideas realistic in your life, and start simple so you can get stuff done!

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.yesandyes.org/2014/01/fresh-start-ideas.html
2. ↑ https://www.lifetothefullest.abbott/en/articles/fresh-start-in-new-year.html
3. ↑ https://www.lifetothefullest.abbott/en/articles/fresh-start-in-new-year.html
4. ↑ https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/small-ways-give-yourself-fresh-start-new-year-without-nervous-breakdown/
5. ↑ https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-kindness-blog/2943-50-kindness-ideas-for-random-acts-of-kindness-day
6. ↑ https://www.lifetothefullest.abbott/en/articles/fresh-start-in-new-year.html
7. ↑ https://www.yesandyes.org/2014/01/fresh-start-ideas.html
8. ↑ https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/small-ways-give-yourself-fresh-start-new-year-without-nervous-breakdown/
9. ↑ https://www.yesandyes.org/2014/01/fresh-start-ideas.html
10. ↑ https://www.yesandyes.org/2014/01/fresh-start-ideas.html
11. ↑ https://www.lifetothefullest.abbott/en/articles/fresh-start-in-new-year.html

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How to Accept Your Body

People are constantly bombarded with unrealistic and potentially harmful images of “ideal” body types. This can make it difficult to accept, love, and feel confident in your own body, which is critical. It's also important to learn what your body can physically do and become comfortable with these capacities. According to philosopher Baruch Spinoza, humans “know not what a body can do,” in the sense that nobody can know exactly what their body is actually capable of doing, at least before experimenting with it.^[1] Psychologists note that there is a distinction between how people perceive their bodies and how their bodies engage in actions.^[2] In order to accept your body, it’s important to get in touch with both of these aspects of your body on their own terms.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Appreciating Your Unique Body

1. Recognize what actually gives you pleasure. Make a list of your most pleasurable moments. Include as many details as possible, such as who you were with, what you were doing, where you were, etc. Reflect on what these have in common. Was it the type of people you were with? The amount of excitement produced? Or simply the setting, like being in nature or in a big city? As you realize the conditions under which your body has received the most pleasure in the past, try maximizing the amount of time you spend in similar situations in the future.
   
   • Every person has a unique body, which means you'll need to experiment and find out what gives you pleasure.^[3] Research suggests that less than half of Americans describe themselves as particularly happy with their present conditions, partly because they're not entirely certain about what actually makes them happy. Start off simply by thinking back on all of the times you would describe as happy.
2. Recognize what you are naturally good at. Part of having a unique bodily structure and chemistry is coming to terms with the fact that some bodies will naturally be better at some activities than others. If you max out your height growth at 2 inches, for example, odds are you won’t become a world class center in the NBA. But, you might become a particularly good horse jockey. Learning to accept your body means learning to accept that your body is better at performing certain actions as opposed to others. It might take you some time to figure out what activities those are.
   
   • If you aren’t sure what activities your body is naturally suited for, spend some time experimenting with ones you’d never imagine yourself to be interested in. Take a class in yoga or pottery. Attend an improvisational performance meeting. Just like Spinoza said, there’s no way to know what your body can do until you do it.
3. Identify what you like about your body and appearance. Even people with terrible body image can find something about their bodies to appreciate. It's important that you learn to love and appreciate all of your good qualities, including physical ones. Don't allow yourself to get hung up on qualities that bother you, only focus on the positive.
   
   • For example, you may currently be unhappy with your thighs—perhaps you think they are chubby or scrawny—but try to put a positive spin on this. You may wish you had slightly thinner thighs, but they do an excellent job propelling you up hills. Or, you may think your legs are spindly, but you are among the few that can really pull off wearing skinny-jeans.
4. Accept your body as it is. This means not trying to change who you are or focus on qualities you don't like. Learn to enjoy your body - how you move, feel, and get around. Let go of how you used to look, especially if your body has undergone changes from pregnancy, childbirth, injuries, or medical conditions. Be kind to your body as it is right now.^[4]
   
   • Don't put yourself on a diet, unless your doctor has advised it. Learn to listen to your body and eat a comfortable amount. Don't deny yourself food or beat yourself up about how much you eat.^[5]

[Edit]Learning to Avoid Negative Thoughts about Your Body

1. Realize how much time you devote to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts do nothing to improve your self-image. Spend a day or two actively reflecting upon how often you think about your body. How often do you think or say something negative about your body? How often do you have positive thoughts? Chances are, you are far more critical than positive.^[6]
   
   • Consider keeping a tally in a journal, note-pad, or on your phone for this task. Carry a notebook with you when possible and quickly jot down each negative thought that comes up. Include whether or not the negative thought was related to the way you might have looked. At the end of the day, you will likely be amazed at how much more negative you are throughout at single day than you realized.
2. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. While this may be difficult in the beginning, it's an important part of accepting your body. As soon as you notice yourself starting to have a negative thought, replace it with something positive about yourself.^[7] Give yourself time to get into the habit of thinking positively.^[8]
   
   • Try starting each day by thinking a few positive thoughts. Remind yourself of these thoughts throughout the day when you start feeling critical of yourself. For example, you might say, "I really like the way this new haircut makes me feel."
3. Limit your exposure to negative media images. Try to cut back or stop engaging with television shows, movies, magazines, or blogs that present an unrealistic or negative depiction of the body. Remind yourself that a majority of photos circulating the internet and magazine subscriptions have been altered to make the models pictured appear more in line with standard notions of beauty and sexuality.^[9]
   
   • Psychologists are worried that with this trend's increase over the last 20 years, such images are creating unrealistic ideals regarding what a body should look like. Don’t allow yourself to be sucked in by these empty caricatures with no reference in the real world.
4. Find a therapist who uses Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Many CBT techniques used by psychologists focus on the present and short-term using goals as therapy.^[10] While it's best to see a therapist for CBT, you can begin to practice it on your own. When you notice a negative thought about yourself surface, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and try to locate the evidence for your belief. Has anyone actually told you this aspect of your body was flawed? If so, was the person just trying to hurt you, or maybe making a joke?
   
   • Psychologists believe that, in many cases, if you have an unrealistic expectation of how you should look, you'll have a distorted body image. It's important to notice when these unrealistic expectations show up in your thought processes, so that you can hopefully challenge these ideals with concrete information.^[11]
5. Handle the negative people in your life. You are already working on being kinder to yourself and focusing on the positive aspects of yourself, but you also need to assess the other people in your life. Do you get criticism from your friends and family? Do they tell you that you need to lose weight, dress differently, or change your hair? If so, it's important that you find ways to address these negative influences.
   
   • Keep in mind that you probably won't be able to cut out your close friends and family in the same way that you can stop buying Vogue or watching America's Next Top Model. Even so, if they body-shame you or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to have a respectful, yet firm discussion with them about how their words or behaviors hurt you.
6. Mix in different social groups. As you try out new activities, talk to people you might typically ignore or shy away from. Talking to strangers might feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it the easier and better it will get. No matter how uncomfortable you might feel at first, keep in mind that isolating yourself from other people can be even worse, with some research suggesting it can be just as deadly in the long run as obesity.^[12] It is important to become more comfortable engaging with new people, especially if the people you are currently around aren’t supportive of your body-image or aren't positive influences.
   
   • Brain research suggests that who people love is highly influenced by their brain chemistry, which means you might not always fall in love with the kind of person you imagined for yourself.^[13] This can also be true for building close friendships. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support you and encourage your self-discovery. Simply put, it will be much easier to accept your body and challenge any unrealistic ideals you might have if you're surrounded by people that accept you and your discoveries.^[14]

[Edit]Learning to Focus on the Positive

1. Pay attention to the compliments you receive. Rather than look out for criticisms, enjoy the compliments you get. Pay attention to the content of other peoples' compliments and remember them. Write them down so that you can remind yourself of them later, especially during darker moments.
   
   • Instead of dismissing other peoples' compliments or convincing yourself that they're just being polite, take them at their word and trust that they are not just humoring you. Consider that others are giving you their honest assessments. Accept their positive words graciously.
2. Consistently identify what you like about yourself. Every time you notice yourself thinking negatively about your body or an aspect of it, remind yourself of something about your body that you like. Make a list of at least ten positive things about yourself, omitting anything appearance-related. Add to the list frequently.
   
   • This will help you begin to understand and appreciate all the wonderful aspects of yourself. You'll realize that your body is just one part of your total package. ^[15]
3. Reinvent your relationship with your mirror. If you spend too much time in front of the mirror, make a rule that you can't say or think anything negative about yourself when you look in it. Instead, use your mirror to identify the positive things you see. If you're still struggling with the mirror, take it away for a while. Studies have shown that you may be more likely to focus on your career or relationship, rather than your looks.^[16]
   
   • Verbalize positive affirmations in front of the mirror: Say to yourself “You're beautiful!”, “You're amazing,” etc. when standing in front of the mirror.^[17] This may feel forced, and you may not initially believe what you're telling yourself, but experts tell us that this process—what they call cognitive behavior therapy—really does work over time.

[Edit]Setting Goals and Making Changes

1. Improve your health and well-being. Part of learning to fully accept and be happy with your body may mean that eventually you change some aspect of it. For example, this might mean that if you are overweight, you hope to lose weight. But, remember that the numbers on the scale are just one aspect of and indicator of your overall health. Make sure that you are scheduling and keeping regular physical exams where you can get all of your “numbers” (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.). This will give you an overall picture of your health and will allow you to discuss your health goals with your doctor.
   
   • It's possible that you may need to gain or lose weight to be healthy, but you should also aim to achieve strength, flexibility, and endurance.
2. Set positive goals. Rather than focus on the negative of the goal, highlight the positive. For example, if you decide to begin a work-out regime, avoid framing your goal in terms of how many pounds you want to lose. Instead, have your goal be something positive, like “I'll work out so that I can run two miles without stopping,” or “I'm going to commit to a walking program so that I'll be fit enough to hike part of the Appalachian Trail with my dad.”^[18]
   
   • You'll have better luck at success (both in terms of achieving your goals and learning to feel better about yourself) if you think of what you hope to accomplish or be able to do better.
3. Do physical activities that you enjoy. Choose activities and exercise programs that you find fun and entertaining, and don't select them solely on the basis of how they can help you change your body. Instead, spend some time trying out new activities and go with the ones you truly enjoy and can get excited about. If you love yoga, for example, then do it, even if you think that you are currently too overweight to look graceful at it. Nearly any fitness program can be adapted for individuals of different sizes and fitness levels.
   
   • If you are self-conscious working out in front of other people, consider taking private lessons, working out with a close friend, or working out at home. Be careful not to let your fear of being judged by other people dictate how you will lead your life.
4. Adopt your own style. Don't choose your clothes, make-up, or hair-style simply based on what you think is “appropriate” for someone of your body type or what the fashion magazines say is most flattering. Wear what you want, what you like, and what you feel comfortable in. Choose clothes that reflect your personality, that are comfortable, and that fit your lifestyle and activities.
   
   • Try out a wide variety of clothing styles and fits. If you feel confident and beautiful in a style that is considered to be “flattering for body-type X,” then by all means wear it, but do so because you like it, not because you think you're supposed to wear it.^[19]

[Edit]Keeping Things in Perspective

1. Compare yourself only to yourself. The world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same. There's no point in comparing yourself to others, regardless of whether the person is a celebrity or classmate sitting next to you. Instead, compare yourself in terms of how you've progressed over time, now that you've created your own realistic goals. For example, you might think to yourself that you've improved your appearance compared to a few years ago.
   
   • Don't forget to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't treat or judge yourself any more harshly than you would your friend or anyone else.^[20]
2. Know when to seek help. Understand that nearly everyone struggles to maintain positive body image all the time and it's normal to have ups and downs. But, you should also honestly consider if you need to speak with a counselor, doctor, or mental health professional.^[21] There are various signs that your body issues are severe and require professional help. Ask yourself the following:^[22][23]
   
   • Are you unable to control negative thoughts about yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your perceived flaws?
   • Does your unhappiness with your appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Do you dread going to work because you're afraid of being seen and judged?
   • Do you spend an excessive amount of time in front of the mirror each day and/or groom excessively?
   • Are you unable to stop negatively comparing yourself to others?
   • Do you avoid being photographed?
     • Understand that if you struggle with any of these, you'll most likely need help to accept your body. You may possibly have what is known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which typically requires professional help. If left untreated, BDD can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior.^[24] Even if you are not diagnosed with BDD, know that there is no shame in seeking help and advice rather than struggling on your own.
3. Find professional help that works for you. You have several options when it comes to getting professional help. You can see a mental health therapist and/or counselor and get one-to-one therapy. Or, you could find local support groups for a slightly less formally structured experience. There are even online support groups where you can build relationships with others who suffer from pervasive negative thoughts about their body.
   
   • The important thing here is simply finding support from others who are not going to judge your perceptions about yourself. They might even have some helpful tips to offer you.
4. Remember that body-image is only one part of a healthy self-image. It is important that you learn to accept and hopefully love your body, but it's also vital to realize that your self-worth is not defined in any sense by what you look like.^[25]
   
   • When you think about the people you admire, love and/or respect the most, what qualities spring to mind? Do you value others or yourself only for the physical qualities or because of character and personality traits?^[26]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Put post-it notes on your mirror which identify your good traits. Feel free to include some notes which identify physical traits you appreciate (e.g., “You have gorgeous cheekbones”), but be sure to have some notes which are not just looks-related.
• A strong support system is important, since it can be helpful to have advice about your body-image from someone you trust. You can refer back to this when negative thoughts come up.
• Be sure to discuss with your doctor any decisions to begin a new diet or exercise program, and be on the lookout for extreme or sudden changes in your body.
• Everyone is different no matter what shape and size they are.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Love Your Body
• Love Yourself
• Read Body Language
• Exfoliate Your Body for Soft Skin
• Get a Bikini Worthy Body
• Build Self Confidence

[Edit]References

1. ↑ Spinoza, B. (1677). Ethics. Everyman Classics, translation by G H R Parkinson, 1989. (Note, Prop. II, Part III)
2. ↑ Gallagher, S. (2005). How the body shapes the mind. Oxford; New York: Clarendon Press.
3. ↑ Kate, H. (2013). Positive Psychology And The Body: The Somatopsychic Side To Flourishing: The somatopsychic side to flourishing. McGraw-Hill Education (UK).
4. ↑ [v161500_b02]. 31 July 2020.
5. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/accepting-your-body/
6. ↑ [v161500_b02]. 31 July 2020.
7. ↑ http://www.bulimiahelp.org/articles/22-ways-love-and-accept-your-body-just-way-it
8. ↑ [v161500_b02]. 31 July 2020.
9. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vivian-diller-phd/photoshop-body-image_b_891095.html
10. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/demystifying-treatment-for-body-dysmorphic-disorder/
11. ↑ Veale, D., Gournay, K., Dryden, W., Boocock, A., Shah, F., Willson, R., & Walburn, J., (1996). Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A Cognitive Behavioural Model and Pilot Randomized Controlled Trial. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 34, 717-729
12. ↑ http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2013/08/dangers_of_loneliness_social_isolation_is_deadlier_than_obesity.html
13. ↑ Marazziti, D., Akiskal, H. S., Rossi, A., & Cassano, G. B. (1999). Alteration of the platelet serotonin transporter in romantic love. Psychological Medicine, 29(3), 741–745.
14. ↑ http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ894784.pdf
15. ↑ https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/20-ways-love-your-body
16. ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/16/fashion/mirror-fasts-help-take-the-focus-off-yourself.html?_r=0
17. ↑ http://www.bulimiahelp.org/articles/22-ways-love-and-accept-your-body-just-way-it
18. ↑ [v161500_b02]. 31 July 2020.
19. ↑ https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/20-ways-love-your-body
20. ↑ http://www.bulimiahelp.org/articles/22-ways-love-and-accept-your-body-just-way-it
21. ↑ https://nedc.com.au/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-explained/body-image/
22. ↑ http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd
23. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938
24. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20353938
25. ↑ http://www.bulimiahelp.org/articles/22-ways-love-and-accept-your-body-just-way-it
26. ↑ https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/20-ways-love-your-body

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